As if its not already bad as it is now, I had a terrible dream about someone who has been occupying my mind a lot lately. In my dream, he sent me a note telling me that he might have led me to conclude that he likes me. He was apologetic to the fact that I have shown my interest thinking that it has been reciprocated all these times. The hand-written letter spoke of too much hurtful things, most of which was the fact that no one else was to be blamed other than me. I know. It’s just a dream… and dreams are by-product of our thoughts, unspoken, unconscious, subconscious, whatever! Nonetheless, it has affected me so much.

To make it worse, he also bid goodbye to me in the letter. ..telling me that he was already leaving for another country and will be there for what sounded to be eternity. Total madness! As if not being liked ain’t cruelty yet, now ,I will be completely dumped in my dream. Heavens forbid!This is what I call torture without a chance to defend myself because nightmares simplyy wont let you. Before I even got to the last part of the letter, a crocodile appeared out of nowhere. It was probably about 4 feet long and ready to jump my bones any time I blink my eye. He was already sniffing my flesh and I was sending signal to my housemates to run for their lives while I think of a way to deceive the reptile.

I guess I am not afraid of monstrous creatures…. but I am more afraid of the monster lurking within me. This monster had been not been very good in protecting me, in building walls against people who will hurt me whether intentionally or not. My own monster had pulled me down and failed me again. Oh, too much headache… I can’t bear it no more!

it took me half a day before finally deciding to take this medicine