It took me some weeks to analyze… how i really should react and what i oughta be doing. My dearest friend have left me somethings and personal valuables i was not really sure how to take care of…..

I think I pretty much did more than she could have expected … and did it wholeheartedly it stabbbed me so hard when i realized it didnt love me back as i thought it would.

At first, i tried to stay away to thinking how badly it hit me. I thought, this is not about me… its about them … for her. But she’s gone and even if she were alive, she wouldnt have wanted me to endure this shit.

So you see there is where my confusion started…. where does friendship start and when do you really qualify a relationship as friendship?  Do you get hurt over petty things like being left out by people u haven’t really met and considered your friends? You don’t cry over it. You cry because u made effort  for this so-called friendship that has not been materialized and yet and it was all disregarded.

I thought it over and gave it all consideration i could give…. but never made me feel good. Why must I ? We are NOT even friends.

Writing this article does not mean I am a health expert, I just happened to find out some helpful facts.

A lot of people and doubting Thomases have been amazed and have not gone over the curiosity regarding my weight loss. I can’t blame them as I ,too, am still overwhelmed. It is not because I could not shed the pounds but because I was able to do it without much exercise nor diet. By using the word MUCH, I mean, I still did both , however, I did put too much effort in doing so.

Without futher ado,  I am now sharing with you tips that would have made me a couple of hundreds richer, if not only for the silly generosity I sometimes possess. ( hahahahah )

Actually it is not much of a secret. It is the Del Monte Fit and Right juice   that has been out in the market for about a year now. Whenever I reveal my secret though, there are a few who would raise their eyebrows and even let a nasty comment ” DI NAMAN TOTOO YAN!” and walks out for a number of reasons which I have given a thought as well:

1. They tried it and it really did not work for them.

2. They did not try it at all because they do not believe in the prduct anyway.

3. They might have thought that I went through the knife or had liposuction for losing 20 pounds in 4-6 months.

( I was 136 pounds on May of 2008 and dropped to 118 lbs by September. I am now 115 pounds at the time I am blogging , January 29, 2000, but I tend to go back to 120 pounds when I start pigging out. It’s just yoyo syndrome.. what’s important is I now know how to drop the weight again.)

4. Lastly, they have other things to use their hard-earned money on.

Again, I do not blame them. I only want to share what was effective on  me and what I have found out about this product. SO here it goes.

The key ingredient of Fit and Right is L-carnitine. Upon doing a google, I discovered that there are different classes of it and there is no actual amount or dosage to take that has been recommended yet nor any side effects. The reason therefore that Del Monte suggested three bottles of it is because of the sugar it contains. You get 22 grms of sugar per serving… that is if you buy the plastic bottle. Yes, there are nutrional differences between the canned and the bottled juice. If i go on the list, I am sure that you will just get bored. So to sum it up, the can has more sugar, more vitamins BUT less fiber if no fiber at all. Not to mention that it contains less juice than the bottled one. That is actually the reason I am taking the cheaper, bottled juice.

Going back to L-carnitine. This, my friends, does not make you lose pounds. It just HELPS you lose it IF and WHEN after drinking the juice, you commit yourself to 30 minute rigorous activity. Otherwise, the sugar will work like an appetizer that makes you eat , eat and eat… which, of course, what makes us all fat.  Upon reading the label, I also learned that the maker of this product, contrary to what others might have thought,  did not actually cheat anyone… It is the visual images on TV that makes us dream to shed the excess fat in a snap of a finger and has blocked our hearing from knowing the important facts about Fit and Right.

Some say that they did not exercise at all and yet they lost weight upon drinking Fit and Right. Please do not be deceived. Non-mobility will not make you lose weight unless you are starving yourself.The reason though that I mentioned exercising earlier in this blogs is because it is the key to slimming into a GOOD SHAPE.  This is where my guilt lies. Since I do not like sit-ups, I lost more fats on areas where there should be and retained some fats on my belly.

It also helps that you change your diet. Yes, you may still eat sweets and red meat if you want if only you know when to stop and make sure you do not eat sweet stuff on a daily basis.  Another thing I have learned is to count calories. Believe me, I hate counting ,too! LOL…  However, we all must know that we should be eating 1500 calories per day as suggested by the experts. Everytime you eat 500 calories less, you lose a couple of pounds a week. Did I just make you think of getting the habit of reading the back label? Good! You are on the right track.

Lastly, you MUST drink water. Do not make this juice a replacement. Since it is too sweet, you will need more pure water to replenish your body as it dries you up ( especially girls, if you know what I am talking about… ) making you prone to urinary tract infection.

See? It’s not so bad. 3 bottles of Fit and Right, At least 6-8 glasses of water, a 30-minute walk or room cleaning, fish, chicken, vegetables… and less sugar. That is really all you need.
P.S.

Please do not think I am just showing off as it is the least of my intentions. I am still afraid of gaining weight because it is in my genes.  I just want to help people overcome their insecurity which was what I have experienced during the times I weighed heavier than I should. Also, I am writing this while taking care of my 2-yr old so I might have forgotten other details. Do not hesitate to ask. ;)  Hope this helps.

at 60 kilos

I have a love-hate relationship with my paternal relatives. I sometimes love them…. but I despise them most of the time. Its probably because I grew up having too many bossy cousins around who would pass an errand to me, insult me, push me around and take advantage of the fact that I will not fight back because my father will not even back me up.   I do not even know if they are aware of what they did to me… I do not even know if they cared.

To be quite honest, some of them are not mean. There are a few silent and caring ones. Those who have lived their lives far from my hell hole. Good for them. But they, too, have experienced the wickedness of my male cousins…. I guess because we have tried to live it so that peace will remain in our family.

I am now blogging away my thoughts and I do not even care if any of my relatives will read this or get offended…. they didn’t care if I was anyway. I hate to put the laundry in public but I am now disowning them. I have had enough. I am no longer allowing any of them to hurt me. I have lived a life well-loved by friends and my OWN family and I will not let my relatives put me down just because they are ignorant of their actions toward me. It has to end now.

You might ask… why only now?  Because I thought that when people age, they mature…. that having their own children, they will know what wrong they have done others and vice-versa.  Now i found out, change is not constant to everybody. It only happens to those who claim it… to those people who want their lives to improve. I have been happy all these years that I was away from them…. and I will be happy staying away than attending the rubbish family gatherings where insensitive people pry on younger cousins while the latter are expected to respect the older ones.

Goodbye to decades of sufferings….

I am writing this at 2 AM so I am not actually sure whether I will be saying something sensible or even remember promising anything at all when I wake up tomorrow morning. Haha! The caffeine I downed a couple of hours earlier just started to kick in and I am not going to dilute it with water unless I wanna sleep next to the bathroom. So here I am, checking mails, peeking on my webby accounts, uploading photos, reading stories and now writing my thoughts while I listen to someone snore unconsciously.

I am actually forcing myself to write. I wish I could think of anything worthwhile to jot down so I could have my students read my blog for their reading exercises but too much coffee in my system does not do me any good. It just excites me and make me think of my future selfish plans.I guess they would have to stick to my other sites.

And for those who insist on boring themselves with my to-do list, here it goes.

1. I wanna travel abroad. Hopefully to Singapore. If not, I will settle for Malaysia so I can make a side trip to SG. Hahaha.

2. I will visit Jaggy’s family in Gensan by summer. My bf is a little pessimistic about it due to the bombings and by knowing that I jerk easily even to the faintest of sounds and screams at the sight of blood. Don’t ask me why, I am not yet ready to discuss it.

3. My kitchen needs a lot of fixing. My imagination of the roof for the dirty kitchen must be drawn out of my head and on to the blue print. I want more cupboards and big detergent boxes, too.

4. Project: room for a queen. I have been living in this apartment for 5 months now and I still havent convinced myself yet that I’m not going anywhere  until the recession is over. Gotta splash some color, and make it fit for my role.hehe

5. Make more money! Contrary to popular belief, I do not lay on piles of money nor have access to someone’s bank account…. not on J’s or anybody else’s. LOL. Hmnnn… I wonder now why I never did that. Tsk! Tsk! I should have done that a long time ago.  Guess Im gonna need some pointers from KCEerrcreampieoh… but I bet the other K has a better advise, she seemed a very strong ,opinionated woman…. scratch that. I mean she is a woman, and a big one too! LOL

6. Okay, last year, I promised to behave. Haha. Believe me, I tried and I guess I didn’t have to put a lot of effort. It was just a natural thing to do. Some may not see it the way I do but I will maintain the same set of values based on my own standards. I only care about people who have the same principle as mine. I am upset about the passing away of a friend but that does not mean I won’t poke you in the eye when’er you need it. Yes, the same bad eRyLL to some this 2009 and vice-versa to others.

7. I want a good tutor award. That’s it.

8. While the recession is taking its own sweet time, I’ll try to look for the half-filled cup rather than whining at the empty half.

9. Stay focus on the hierarchy of my priorities.

Gabby -> school -> honey -> work -> self - > parents & siblings ->friends

10. less crying

As it might not come surprising to anybody anymore, I am crying tonight for the same reason… that I miss my very dear friend Jaggy. As the time comes very near to midnight, I keep wishing it will just roll back a year instead when I was still able to greet her, talk to her on the phone, smile at the thought of her, and just listen to her. It is really difficult not to shed some tears for the longing I have here in my heart. I miss her so much… and I never tire of thinking about her despite trying not to hold onto the memories just to bear the pain. It is Christmas and while the rest is here with me, I just wish that somehow she is also here.

I miss you so much Jaggy. I miss you everyday of my life and I will forever be your friend. Merry Christmas to you wherever you are and advanced Happy birthday to both of us. Gabby and I love you so much!

eRyLL

P.s.

Thank you for bringing me closer to your family. You were lucky to have them as they were to have had you.

There was a very funny thing that happened in my site at Multiply. It cracked me up the moment I read a comment on one of my articles.

Just like usual, I wrote a blog that warned my dear friends,  readers who happened to pass by my site and some.. about a virus attack here at Friendster. To cut the long story short, she made a nasty comment not about the article but the writer about a different issue. Hahaha! Not only that, she even bothered to create an account just so she can dare say it out loud. ( A very poor advise from her so called partner in crime who she was able to convince she was a saint rather than a sinner. ) The personal attack was rather a hilarious one ,such that , she obviously had poor research done noting that I have become wealthier because of Joseph’s bank account which I am hoping are mostly Swiss .. hahahah. What’s funnier is that she really was so convinced that Joseph had been supporting me all these years and that I have completely fooled him by making him believe I love him and that I am only after his money ( again, i hope I’d be able to find where. )  Hahaha! It was not enough though, she even dared me to say how I have become what she calls “rich by status”.

Too bad, I am not gonna tell her what is really true from what is not. Hahaha. It gives me the pleasure of the thought that she actually has been stalking me for the longest time and still do not have access to my life and never will. Not only that, her ONLY source of information is the same UNRELIABLE source that she will ever have. Tsk! Tsk! To top it all, her source will never be able to tell more than what he will only be willing to say… unless of course he is ready to say the truth and nothing but the WHOLE TRUTH. XD

Anyway, despite our busy schedule, one really needs something to smile about and of course her piece of crap is OUR entertainment of the week. I am sure, in one way or another, people have had a similar share of detractors like her ,who , undoubtedly, have hell-bent of insecurities and natural wear and tear bolts in between their ears.  Needless to say, just ignore people like her and hope that they will have something better coming in their lives as the present situation they are in seems not to be interesting enough for them if not satisfying at all.

So let them stalk with all their hearts out as it may be their only happiness. We don’t wanna be that selfish anyway. Haha!

Merry Christmas and Happy new year to all!   - from the rich girl named Cheryl  LOL

The recession that has pulled the economy down has not only upset those who have lost their jobs but also those who have lost their future in one way or another. Analysts predict that it shall go back to its glorious state in a couple of years and we should all avoid entering the panic room.

Does this mean we should all stop hoping for a beautiful life while we are in this pit?

Young academicians may be good in analyzing what the fall of market is all about, but they don’t seem to know how it affects millions of people. I seriously doubt if they even know how to make both ends meet since they are always saved by their parent’s generosity . Politicians make it worse by giving the nation a “show” on who falsely cares and who knows better in pretending they know something about it.

I guess, what we ( those who are greatly affected by this downturn of the economy) need is to rely only on ourselves.  While we we assert our actions and utter the passe’ that this too shall pass, let us keep in mind that God will never give us crosses more than we can bear.  There is nothing stronger than the hope it brings that there is light at the very end of this suffering.

May God bless the whole world.

saving me from boredom, hopefully no more than that!

Today is one of the few days I get suprised. A friend of mine left her almost perfect jhusband for another one. I am not really sure if her husband is a very good guy as he seems to be… but I am sure that he rates 8 or 9.

It is hard enough to find a guy who will love you for the remainder of his life without the thought that he will be just sitting there with a bottle of beer while he lets you be the queen of his kingdom.. what more to find someone who will love you children as their own.

Stories like this one gives me butterflies in my stomach and makes me thinnk harder of marrying. I am afraid of getting tied up with a paper just to save my face from a hypocrite society while I spend a miserable life with a husband who has spread his maleness all over his damn company ;  or a husband who has nothing better to do than compare you to his dog; a husband who sees you as a prized trophy to be displayed to his compadres and never gives you enough affection that an emotional person like me would demand.

I dont know the full story and I dont judge her decision.. I am just afraid for her.. and for me as well.

August, September and October has swiftly passed by. I am not sure whether it was too much of the stirred drama or the the act of pretending that made it seem like only a few steps taken until this day but I am glad to be able to go through hell and all still in one piece. It is such a huge loss that Jaggy has been gone for quite sometime. I still bleed everyday with the thought that she is no longer coming back but hopeful that we will meet again and share the same laughter when my own mission in life has been completed.  My thoughts and emotions are still scattered at the moment like giant tides pushing it back and forth along the shore.  I don’t mind riding along at all. It keeps me afloat the pain and suffering that most of Jaggy’s friends experience as well.

From time to time, I think about the coming season… I fear that it might not be as delightful as I wished it would be. Just like Joyce, Chen and Darlene, I am not as strong as most people are… or as most people thought I am. I know, I have already mourned a lot. Sometimes, others think it is more than enough weeping that I have gone through. But should I measure the number of times my heart cried out for her?

I just miss her so much, God knows when I will stop hurting deep within.  And just when I let the tides put me into a lullaby, Christmas is coming near.. and so is New year… and our birthdays — how I wish she is still here.

Sept 18,2005

Sunday 4:45 AM

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